“Oh God….this is going to be so boring.”
I know. I am aware.
Numbers is definitely on a top ten list (somewhere) of most boring books in the Bible. It just is. No offense to God, but seriously...
This book is essentially a re-examination of the end of Exodus (the journey outta Egypt), and the beginning of Leviticus (the laws). However, just because it is a re-examination, doesn’t mean it isn’t important. Let’s put it this way, it is an incredibly important part of the Pentateuch (a.k.a. the first five books of the Bible), and without it, you will miss some important details about the story.
Once again, Numbers is easiest to read if you split it up a bit, and in this case, it should be split up into three separate sections:
Stuff That Happened at Sinai
(brief intermission)
Stuff That Happened at Kadesh
(brief intermission)
aaaaaaand…
Stuff That Happened at Moab
Now, as you probably assumed, Sinai, Kadesh and Moab are places. Great job!
There are a couple chapters that entail the journey from Sinai to Kadesh, and a couple chapters that entail the journey from Kadesh to Moab. Everything else should be read from those specific locations listed.
Quick Recap with the Rev. Dr.: Why is this important? Because the Israelites took FOREVER to get to the Promised Land. Let’s recap what happened real quick, in case you forgot…
Hebrews captured to be slaves in Egypt. God uses lots of scary and fun plagues to convince Pharaoh to free them. Pharaoh finally does. Moses leads the people to Mount Sinai. Moses gets the Ten Commandments. The people do bad stuff. God is mad. Moses breaks the Ten Commandments. God is mad again. They build a tabernacle. Moses tries to make the people less dumb.
You can read that Moses’ attempts at increasing their intelligence was a futile mission. As Ron White says, you can’t fix stupid. So, in a way, the entire book portrays why it took them so long to understand what happened in Exodus and Leviticus. They were incredibly slow learners, and sometimes, that is okay.
Now, before we dive in head first, it’s important to understand why Numbers is called Numbers, especially because the meaning plays a major part in the reading of Numbers (how many times can I say “numbers” before my Substack flips me off?).
The title, “Numbers” (I’m laughing), is called “Numbers” because of the Greek translation of the Old Testament from the word “arithmoi” (the Septuagint). The Greek word, as you can now see, sounds a lot like “arithmetic” so you can put two and two together.
Here’s the deal. A good chunk of this book, the part that Israel thought was the most important, is the return of the generation counts, i.e. the census. The Old Testament’s version of Return of the Jedi, except it is Return of the Census. Not funny? I tried.
Remember that without genealogical lines being physically written down, a lot of their history would be lost. In Exodus and Leviticus, there wasn’t too much happening in this sense. Numbers, in a way, serves a purpose in chapters 1-4 and chapter 26: to preserve their lineage.
Fun Fact from the Rev. Dr.: For the Jewish folk, Numbers is called “Bemidbar” which means “in the wilderness” because…..this book is pretty much SOLELY in the wilderness.
Let’s continue on.
Stuff That Happened at Sinai (1-10ish)
Lots of Census. Lots of responsibilities listed. Lots of offerings. Think of this as an intro to the book, and a reminder of the past two books. Nothing too new, but important to read nonetheless.
There is one new thing that hasn’t happened prior, so pay attention to this. In Numbers 6, God tells Moses to tell Aaron to bless the people of Israel: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift his face upon you and give you peace.”
Why does this matter? Because these people are still being stupid. They are still being disobedient. They are still wandering the wilderness (they should have been to the Promised Land by now, FYI). Yet, God still blesses them. A good parent still shows love through the discipline, and that is what God is doing; He isn’t choosing to bless them. He blesses them because it is in His nature to bless them.
*brief intermission to travel to Kadesh from 10-12, involves a lot of complaining*
Stuff That Happened at Kadesh (13-19)
FORTY YEARS they spend here. Kadesh isn’t the Promised Land. Kadesh is Kadesh. And they spend FORTY years here. Wild.
This chunk of time, as you can read, is a bit wearing on the Israelites. They are mad that they still haven’t made it to the Promised Land. They’re tired, they’re hangry, they’re annoyed; yet God still provides for them. There are some major deaths that happen, some more law-giving (nothing too new topic wise), and the priests start to do their job well (God gives them a gold star).
The portion that I think is the most important, if you read nothing but what I tell you to pay attention to, is Numbers 14:13-25.
The people, at this point in the journey, are PISSED. They start saying that they would have rather died in CAPTIVITY than been free out in the wilderness. They start LITERALLY scheming to go back to Egypt.
This is truly wild.
Think about it: they were slaves! They were tortured! They cried out to God. God rescued them and now they want to go back to Egypt because they think the road trip is starting to suck and its Gods fault?? False! It was THEIR fault. 100% indisputable fact.
So, in this passage, Moses cries out to God to forgive the people. He literally intercedes for these calloused people, meaning that Moses places himself between God and the people and pleaded for them to not be struck down by lightning.
Moses says to God “please let the power of the Lord be great as you have promised, saying that the Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgressions.” Ballsy move on Moses’ part. As if God doesn’t know His own character, Moses feels the need to essentially say “ok listen I know they suck but YOU SAID you would forgive them. YOU SAID THAT SO YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER DOING IT.”
Ballsy. I think, in any other case, God probably would have slapped Moses. Maybe even threw a few lightning bolts his way. But no, God responds in a surprising and, relatively sarcastic, way. He tells Moses “I have pardoned, according to your word. But truly, as I live and as all the earth shall be filled with the glory the Lord, none of the men who have seen my glory and my signs that I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and yet have put me to the test these ten times and have not obeyed my voice, shall se the land that I wore to give them.”
Let me paraphrase: God said “fine. I forgive them. If they want to go back to Egypt, so be it. Turn around and go back to the Red Sea. BUT I am not going to let them return to be slaves. Instead, I’m going to make them walk in circles until they die and they won’t see the Promised Land. Boom. Roasted.”
I’m going to let that marinate in your head. If anything sticks from Numbers, I hope it is that.
*brief intermission to travel to Moab from chapter 20-21 (Aaron dies, RIP)*
Stuff That Happened at Moab (22-36)
First chunk of this section (22-24) talks about a fun duo, Balak and Balaam. It is a fun and witty story that shows how God is intensely on Israel’s side, so much so that Balak and Balaam, who are both pagan, can see it.
The rest of the section is ALL over the place. It talks about the holidays, the festivals, the feasts, vows, God being mad, God being happy, a census….it really is all over the place.
The part, in this section, that I think you should pay attention to is chapter 33. This is the cliff notes version of the whole book, including a bit of Exodus. It is quite literally, in 56 verses, the tale of Israel’s journey. If you can’t read anything else, read that. It’s dry…so maybe listen to it
And, ta-da, that is Numbers.
That is the ENTIRE book of Numbers. I’d answer some “commonly asked questions,” but because Numbers is so bone-dry, no one ever has questions….because no one wants to read it.
I know you were thinking it. I said it so you wouldn’t have to.
Once again, if you struggle reading this book, I highly recommend listening to it being read. Maybe by Liam Neeson or Benedict Cumberbatch…maybe even Morgan Freeman. I’m sure you can find it somewhere. Make it fun to read.
Friendly reminder: the Bible doesn’t have to be boring.
Go read with confidence. Thanks for being here.
