I honestly cannot remember the last time I ever heard a sermon about praying. Normally churches will start the Sunday service with prayer and end it the same, but I’ve never heard any pastor deliberately talk about HOW to pray. They tend to only talk about WHY you should pray and WHEN you should pray.
Let’s cut the BS. No one taught us how to pray. Maybe your mom did, or maybe you had a youth pastor at some point teach you the words that you should maybe say, but 95% of the population doesn’t understand how to pray. Even worse, that same 95% doesn't really understand what prayer is.
So, without further ado, let’s break down the word, figure out the why, and then get into the hardest part: the how.
Breaking Down the Word
There are NUMEROUS different words for prayer in the Bible. We are going to go over eleven of them as to paint a better picture. Buckle your seatbelts.
Six Hebrew words for prayer:
tepilla (teh-fill-ah)
meaning a simple prayer
Sample prayer: “Thank you Jesus for today.”
palal (puh-le-al)
meaning to intervene, interpose, mediate, judge, or intercede
Sample prayer: “Please look out for _____. He is trying his best and needs Your guidance.”
Let’s Break This Down Further: At one point in your life, someone was praying for you. Someone was placing themselves in between you and God. Whether it was something simple or something critical, people have prayed for you. This is the “palal” prayer, or the selfless prayer.
The meaning of palal also means to “judge” and often times in ancient culture, judge didn’t necessarily mean a legal thing, but instead a discernment, meaning to understand or see something through the eyes of God.
hala (khaw-law, like popcorn stuck in the back of your throat + LAW)
meaning to become grieved, sorry or weak
This can be in moments of sadness, or even in moments of desperation. Obviously, this is a different kind of prayer than what you would pray when you are praying over your dinner. It’s a prayer from the soul.
Sample prayer: “I can’t do this anymore. I need your help.”
atar (aw-thare)
meaning to humbly ask or supplication
OPE! Surprise Christianese word!
Supplication, tehinna (teh-he-nah), means to ask for something earnestly or humbly and receive favor. Many times in the Old Testament, God answers a prayer because of supplication. He answers the request because of their humility, and because He answers the humble request, the person has favor in the eyes of the Lord, because God loves when people are humble.
Sample prayer: “Please help me make enough money to pay rent. My kids need a safe place to live.”
siah (see-akh, SEE + noise you make when you see something kinda gross)
meaning a complaint, trouble, or wanting to talk
from a root meaning to ponder, sing, commune, or speak
Sample prayer: “I’m having trouble with ____. Please help me get through this.”
siha (see-khaw, SEE + popcorn stuck in the back of your throat)
meaning a meditation, reflection, devotion, or musing
Sample prayer: “Thank you for always providing for me. You are excellent at what you do. Thanks for being great!”
Five Greek words for prayer:
deesis (day-ee-sis)
meaning to seek or ask humbly ask God
from a root verb meaning to want or lack, desire or long for, to ask or beg
Sample prayer: “You know the desires of my heart, so please help me get there.”
Let’s Break This Down Further: Prayer, as we have seen from the Hebrew words, isn’t just an act of asking for something. This is a complete misunderstanding of what prayer should even be used for. You don’t pray to ask God for more money or ask God to heal your brother; you pray to God to seek God.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: no, I don’t. That has NEVER been my intent when I pray. I’m praying because I need things.
Well, surprise surprise.
You pray to God to seek God, whether you like it or not. People don’t just pray and expect nothing. People pray and expect God to show up, even if the people haven’t showed up for God.
enteuxis (en-took-cease)
meaning a meeting
from root meaning to go to a meeting for the purpose of conversation
Let’s Break This Down Further: Read the meaning again. Prayer is a MEETING. Prayer is not like a pitch on Shark Tank. It is not one-sided. We picture Jim Carrey reading prayers via email in Bruce Almighty. We send the email and God doesn’t send a reply. Well, guess what? He wants to reply, but we tend to not give Him the ability to reply. Have you ever heard of people having a prayer room? Or a prayer corner? They designate a special space to not pray to God, but to pray WITH God. You may have also heard the term “meditate with God”, which is something I do pretty much constantly in my life. Meditating with God means to be okay sitting in the silence and allowing God to just be present. This is the exact same idea. Prayer is meant to be a meeting between us and God.
euche (you-khay, like YOU + having popcorn stuck in your throat while trying to get someones attention)
meaning a vow
Sample prayer: “I promise to be better. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be better.”
proseuche (praus-you-khay, like PRAUS + YOU + still not getting someones attention and you STILL have popcorn stuck in your throat)
meaning to pray earnestly (or intensely)
Sample prayer: “Please please please please please please PLEASE.”
proseuchomai (praus-ooh-koo-my)
meaning to offer prayers
from two separate roots meaning to pray to God and to have the advantage of being near to Him
Let’s Break This Down Further: Praying is meant to bring us closer to God. Not just relationship-wise, but also in proximity. In ancient times, prayer was considered a sacred act because of the expectancy that God would show up. When we pray, we get the ability to be near to Him. Have you ever prayed an intense prayer and immediately felt comforted? Have you ever prayed a heart wrenching prayer and immediately felt peace? You prayed and had the advantage of being near to the one and only God. That’s pretty darn cool. Don’t undersell it. It’s a big deal.
Why?
So, why should you pray? Why should any of us pray?
Yes, you should pray when you need something, or when you feel like God can help you in some way, obviously……
BUT:
You should pray when you want to feel near to God and you should pray when you don’t want anything to do with God.
If anything, the most important prayer is the one when you want NOTHING to do with God. It is when you are mad or angry with God and want to yell.
Okay, calm down. This is a hot take, for sure, but it is something that needs to be talked about.
First off, God can handle your yelling. He created thunder, so I think your voice is a bit minuscule comparatively. Second, if we don’t get our anger out and tell God where we are in that moment, that is when bitterness can settle in and take up a permanent residence.
Trust me, you don’t want that. Bitterness sucks. It will ruin your life. Just do a little yelling. Get it out of your system. Watch God show up for you.
You should pray because, honestly, what do you have to lose?
Playing devil’s advocate here, the worst case scenario is that it’s all BS and you are talking to yourself, and therefore, you can’t be embarrassed. There is LITERALLY no reason why you shouldn’t.
(But, just an FYI, it’s not BS. God is real, and also waiting patiently.)
The Tough Part: How?
I remember the first time I walked into a more modern church and the pastor started praying. He felt it necessary to repeat some form of God’s name every few words, just in case God got bored or forgot this pastor was talking to Him. I can’t really blame God for that one. This pastor had the worst and most boring prayers. I couldn’t figure out, for the life of me, what the purpose even was. Worst part is that it lasted probably about 5 minutes. Oof. Pretty sure I lost a couple years off my life that morning. I may sound harsh, but it was bad, and I stand by that. God appreciated it, but none of us in the audience did.
Tip #1: Keep ‘er short.
Prayer doesn’t need to be long.
If you feel like you have a lot to say, go for it. 99% of the time, you can say what you need to say in a few sentences.
For a practical example, my husband and I pray before every meal together a very simple prayer.
“Jesus. Amen.”
I’m not kidding. It first kind of started as a joke, but we have kept doing it, mostly because it gets the job done. Before we eat, we are dedicating our meal to Jesus and thanking Him for the meal. That’s it. He knows how our days went. He is aware of our struggles. He is aware of my incredibly short patience. He is also aware that I like to eat my food immediately upon serving because nothing says Rev. Dr. Nikki like a burned mouth.
Prayer does not need to be long to be effective. I also have the Lord’s Prayer written by my dining room table and read it every time I sit down:
Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us from temptation, and deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Amen.
Keep ‘er short.
Tip #2: Keep ‘er simple.
The Lord’s Prayer is a perfect example of this. It covers all the bases.
Prayer does not need to be elaborate to be effective.
Sometimes, when I don’t know what to pray, I will simply say “I don’t know what to pray, but here I am.” I normally have some pretty neat things happen even by saying something as silly as that.
Just show up. That is all God cares about.
Also, repeating God’s name (“Abba, Father God, Jesus, Almighty God, Abba Father, Abba Father God, Jehovah, etc.”) is not going to keep God’s attention. He is already listening. Also… He knows His name. He doesn’t have any sort of memory loss issue. Talk to God like you would talk to your friend. You aren’t going to keep repeating their name over and over. If you did that, your friend would either call you a freak or take you to a psych ward.
Keep ‘er simple.
Tip #3: Keep ‘er thankful.
9/10 times, God will give something because of a thankful heart.
Think of it this way: you have a kid named Jimmy. Jimmy won't stop asking for treats. Any time you have given Jimmy a treat in the past, Jimmy doesn’t say thank you. If you don’t give Jimmy treats, maybe Jimmy will learn not to be rude and be thankful when he gets treats.
We are Jimmy. When God has given you something, whether it be a wife, a dog, a car, a house, patience, kindness, forgiveness, a good weather day to plant some geraniums….did you thank Him? Or did you block His number and just say “phew, sure glad I got a wife, a dog, a car, a house, patience, kindness, forgiveness and this good weather day to plant some geraniums!”
WE. ARE. JIMMY.
DON’T. BE. JIMMY.
Just make it a habit. Add a short thanks. Every time you pray, even if it is a short “Hi God, it’s me…. Just wanted to say hi.”
ADD A THANKS!
“…and thank you for today.”
I don’t care what you thank God for. You can be specific, or you can be vague. God is just going to appreciate you un-blocking him.
Quick Tidbit From the Rev. Dr.: Along with prayer comes doubt. Don’t allow doubt to swallow up the prayer. Once you finish saying what you need to say, envision this:
A little fat man named Doubt walks up to God wearing all tweed. He looks sad and a bit blue. He asks God “what if my prayer DOESN’T get answered?” and God, without missing a beat, replies “my dear friend Doubt, what if it DOES?” They both smile.
Keep ‘er thankful.
Go read with confidence. Thanks for being here.
